Twisted

“Finally, we’re here!” Trixie announced, as she poked her head into the open door of Diana’s single dorm room. “I thought we’d never make it.”

Diana squealed and threw herself into Trixie’s arms. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! It feels like a year since the last time.”

“Same,” Trixie replied, returning the hug. “But where’s everyone else? Aren’t they here yet?”

Di shook her head. “Mart’s down the hall, talking to some people he knows, but other than him, you’re the first.”

Trixie turned to find out where Honey had disappeared to and discovered her talking on the phone, a worried frown creasing her brow. Trixie’s chest seemed to tighten. The Bob-Whites had carved out one precious weekend from their busy schedules, planning to meet at the small college Di attended before travelling the last hour together to the mountain cabins they had booked. Trixie and Honey’s trip had been extended an extra hour and a half by bad traffic on the interstate and now it seemed that Brian, Jim and Dan had been similarly held up.

“If they don’t get here soon, I think we’d better wait here until morning,” Di noted, in a small voice. “I don’t really want to, but the office closes at eight and we didn’t make arrangements for a late check-in.”

“Maybe we can call them now and arrange it,” Trixie suggested, just as Honey ended her call. “Hey, Hon. Do you have the number of the place we’re staying? I think we’d better ask them if we can pick up the key late.”

“Yes, I have it,” her friend answered, “but I think we’d better call them and tell them not to wait for us instead, because I don’t think we’ll get there tonight, at least, if Jim is right, we won’t, though he might be mistaken, which has been known to happen, but in this case I don’t think so.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Di asked, stepping fully out into the hallway and letting her door close behind her. “Are they okay?”

“They’re fine. But they’ve had a flat tyre and Jim doesn’t want to have to go anywhere out-of-the-way without a spare, so if they can find somewhere to get one tonight, we can go, but if everywhere is closed, he wants us to wait until morning. So far, everywhere he’s tried has been closed.”

Di squeezed her eyes shut. “They’re not going to find anywhere, are they? For the first time ever, I’m wishing I’d chosen to go to college somewhere big – you know, like New York City – instead of the smallest college town that anyone’s ever heard of, except that they haven’t heard of it, it’s that small.”

Honey pulled her into a hug. “But here suits you perfectly. And they’ll probably be here soon, so at least we’ll all be together here, which is quite nice, really, even if we’re not together where we intended to be.”

At that moment, a crowd of other students surged past them, all talking at once. Mart, who had graduated from another nearby college the year before and still had friends in the area, separated himself from the group, promising to keep in touch with someone or other. Several others stopped walking and continued their conversation where they were. One thick-set man stopped short and stared at Honey.

“Oh! But you’re absolutely perfect,” he cried. “Flavia, to the life.”

“Excuse me?” she answered.

“Please tell me you’re free tonight. I’m Gareth, by the way – and don’t even think of trying to abbreviate that.” He glanced around and picked out Di. “You’d make a lovely Isolda. Please, tell me you’ll be in my fairy tale. I didn’t think it was going to be possible, but I’ve just got it lined up for tonight, if only I can fill all the parts.”

“Parts? Oh! You mean, it’s like one of those role-playing parties?” Di asked.

The man nodded. “Yes, that’s the kind of thing. Please say you’ll come.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Honey answered. “You see, we had some plans, but we don’t know, yet, if they’re going to fall through, so I don’t really want to commit to anything until I really know for sure, one way or the other. And of course, we’d all like to stick together, my friends and I – I mean, the four of us, plus my brother and Trixie’s other brother and our other friend.”

He looked from one to the next. “I could find a place for you,” he commented, pointing at Mart, “and I could use quite a few other men, but I only have two female parts left to fill.”

“Well, in that case, I’m sorry Gareth, but we can’t come,” Honey told him. “But thank you for asking.”

“Oh, but you’re just so perfect for the part,” he moaned, running a hand through his slightly wavy fair hair. “I’m sure I could find something for all of you to do – there are just so many parts to fill and not much time to do it in. Please, say you’ll come. It won’t be the same without you.”

Honey hesitated, glancing from one of her friends to another. Di shrugged, while Trixie scrunched up her nose a little.

“I’ll have to talk to our other friends first,” she hedged.

“I’ll go and see what other parts I can fill and I’ll come back,” he offered. “Meet you here in, say, ten minutes?”

“Uh, sure,” Honey replied.

The man moved further down the corridor, hailing someone he apparently knew.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “A fairy tale!”

“I thought it sounded like fun,” Di commented, glancing wistfully after Gareth. “It’s not as if we’ve got anything better to do.”

“If Jim can find somewhere,” Trixie began, just as Honey’s phone rang.

“Hello? Jim?” Honey greeted, causing the previous conversation to stop dead. “Oh, no! That’s terrible!”

Trixie groaned. “What is it now?”

Honey made a helpless gesture and said into the phone, “We couldn’t switch cars, could we? … No, of course, you’re right; it wouldn’t. And I don’t suppose we’d like for half of us to go tonight and half tomorrow, either.”

“What’s happening?” Trixie demanded, only to be shushed again.

“They’ve found a screw in one of the other tyres that hasn’t deflated yet, only it might, eventually,” Honey relayed to them, a short time later. “They’ll be here pretty soon, because they can’t find anywhere open to sell them new ones or repair the old ones, but they’ve found a place that opens early in the morning, so we won’t be too late in leaving and maybe the other car-load can go ahead and they’ll meet us there.” She went back to the conversation with her brother. “I’ll call and let them know we won’t be there tonight. Oh, and listen: we’ve been invited to a kind of role-playing party tonight. It’s got a fairy tale theme. Do you think we should go?”

“No!” Trixie answered, but softly enough that he probably didn’t hear her.

“Yes!” Di added in similar tones, an impish grin on her face.

Mart shook his head at them and waited.

“Yes, I think so, too,” Honey told Jim. “Okay, I’ll set it up. See you soon.”

“What did he say?” Trixie demanded. “You can’t mean they actually agreed to this, can you?”

“Uh, yes?” Honey shrugged. “They thought it would keep our minds off things.”

She took a step away. “Let me make that other call, before I forget.”

“Ugh!” Trixie groaned, closing her eyes and clutching her curls. “Why me? He doesn’t even want me!”

Di patted her arm. “It’ll be fun. And it’ll only be for a few hours.”

Trixie straightened. “You think it’ll be fun because you’re good at playing a part. I’m always only myself. But I’ll do it, because I’m not willing to waste even a minute of this weekend on feeling sorry for myself.”

Mart nodded. “That’s probably the best attitude to take. It’s disappointing, but we might as well make the most of our time together. What do you think we’ll have to do?”

“I guess we’ll find out when we get there – wherever ‘there’ is. I guess we should have found that out.”

Mart shrugged. “I don’t suppose it matters. Between Honey’s car and your car, we could transport all of us somewhere, if we leave all the luggage here – I suppose that’s what they meant, when Honey suggested we change cars.”

Di smiled. “I notice no-one is suggesting we take your car anywhere.”

He rolled his eyes. “Even I don’t want to take my car anywhere, if I can help it.”

Neither of the others had a chance to comment, as Jim, Brian and Dan joined them.

“Sorry we’re late, everyone,” Jim greeted. “And sorry for throwing off all of our plans.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Di assured him, as hugs were exchanged all around. “And we’re hoping that we’ve found something fun to fill in tonight with.”

“Yes,” Honey agreed, joining them. “That was quick; were you just outside when we talked?”

“Nearly,” Brian answered. “So, who’s holding the party?”

“I am,” Gareth announced, coming up suddenly behind them. “Oh, wonderful! I have roles for all of you, just about. I take it you’ve decided to come?”

“Exactly where will it be?” Di asked, after making a quick round of introductions. “You didn’t say, earlier.”

He handed her a couple of sheets of paper. “Here are the directions. Be there in… oh, about an hour for costuming – say, at seven-thirty. We’ll start at eight sharp. Oh, and better grab something to eat before you come – this is all so last-minute that I haven’t had a moment to get more than the simplest refreshments.”

“Great. We’ll see you in an hour, then,” Di confirmed.

“We were down that way earlier, I think,” Brian noted, after Gareth had left them. “I’m pretty sure I saw somewhere we could eat on the way.”

“Does anyone need to take anything out of their car to store in my room?” Di asked.

“Yes, we’d better,” Honey answered, and a couple of others added their agreement.

The group hurried to sort that out, before bundling into Honey’s and Di’s cars. Brian navigated them back to the place he had noted earlier and they had a quick meal before going on to the party venue. The last step in the directions had them taking a quiet country road out of town and stopping at an enormous pair of gates set in a tall fence.

“Is this it?” Trixie asked, peering through the metal bars to try to see the house beyond. “Isn’t it kind of strange to have all this security way out in the country?”

The gates silently retreated and the two cars pulled inside and parked behind a couple of others already there. The front door of the monstrous house swung open and Gareth strode out to meet them.

“Welcome!” he called, as Honey stepped out of her car. “Come in, come in. It’s all ready.”

They stepped into a wide entranceway, tiled with irregular grey stone. Overhead, a massive cast iron chandelier hung, lit with imitation candles. To the left, a rustic wooden table held a number of cards which had originally been laid out in rows; spaces showed where other cards had already been taken. Gareth hurried over and picked up most of the ones that remained.

“Now, let me see. Flavia, of course.” He handed a card to Honey. “And Isolda.” The next card he gave to Diana. “Oh! Some of you are siblings, aren’t you? I’d better be careful not to make anyone’s love interest be their brother.”

Honey giggled. “No, that would be awkward. This is my brother. And those two are Trixie’s.”

Gareth nodded. “Fine, fine. Alaric, Caradoc and Everard.” He handed those cards to Brian, Jim and Dan in turn. “That leaves Marmaduke for you.” He handed the card to Mart, who winced at the name. “And Hagar.” He handed the last card to Trixie. “This way, this way. We don’t have much time.”

He led the way up the stairs, talking all the way. Trixie frowned at his retreating back and at the card in her hand. Unlike those given to her friends, hers had been hand-written. On the front it read, ‘Hagar. A maid in the castle.’ On the reverse was written: ‘Scene One: Kitchen.’

The top of the stairs gave onto a large, square room, with corridors branching off on each side, several other doorways and, opposite, another staircase leading up. Mock lanterns in cast-iron brackets illuminated the area, but left the corners in shadow.

“Now, everyone, come this way,” Gareth explained, leading the way down the corridor to the left. He swung open the massive, wooden door with black metal brackets at the end and they entered an area that looked more like an office building. “Men, you’re in here. Ladies, yours is the next door along. Your costumes are all labelled; just put them on and refer to the floor plan on the wall there to see where you need to begin. You’ll find the instructions on another card with your character’s name on it.”

The three girls turned to follow his direction, but a moment later he called them back.

“Oh, by the way, I’d better explain a little about this house. It’s actually a set for a reality television show that isn’t being used at the moment. There’s still a lot of equipment around, so I’d ask you to please be careful not to damage any of it. I don’t think any of us want to be paying for that now, do we?”

“No, of course not,” Honey answered, with an uneasy glance around. “Thanks for the warning.”

Trixie pulled open the door indicated and they went inside the costume room. Any comments they might have made about the situation they found themselves in were set aside when they found that the room was not empty.

“Oh, hi,” one of the other occupants greeted. “You live down the hall from us, don’t you? I’m Libby, she’s Carla and that’s Tegan.”

Di nodded and completed the introductions.

“So, which characters are you?” Tegan asked, smoothing down the layers of the long skirt to her pale blue dress. “Apparently, I have to spend the evening being called Richenda. Ugh!”

“I’m Flavia,” Honey answered, and Libby handed her a costume bag. “Di is Isolda and Trixie is Hagar.”

“What do you get to wear?” Di asked, as Carla passed her another costume bag. “Mine is beautiful.”

She pulled out a long dress of dark blue velvet and held it up to herself.

“Gold satin,” Honey answered. “I hope it fits.”

Di nodded. “Same.”

“Well, all of ours fitted just fine,” Libby told them. “I don’t know how he did it. I’d never laid eyes on him until an hour ago.”

Honey slipped her costume over her head and settled it into place. “Well, all of them are at least a little adjustable. Do me up, Di?”

“I don’t think yours needs any adjustment at all,” Di commented as she complied. “It fits perfectly.”

“Put yours on. I want to see it.” She helped Di into the heavy dress and did it up for her. “Oh, that’s gorgeous.”

“And it feels wonderful, provided you rub it the right way.” Di turned to Trixie. “What’s your costume, Trix?”

Trixie held up a plain wire coat-hanger, such as comes from the dry-cleaners, with what looked rather like a grey sack hanging from it. White ties dangled down the back.

“Oh. That’s rather… plain.” Honey took it from her and turned it around. “Oh. That’s an apron to go over the top.”

A little examination showed that the garment had been fashioned out of a length of material, with a seam down either side, leaving a hole for the arms at the top. A slit had been cut across to allow the head through. Frowning deeply, Trixie put the ugly thing on and tied the apron around her waist.

“Well, I suppose your character is a maid and ours are princesses,” Di pointed out, rather weakly. “What is Richenda? And the other two?”

“Mine is called Sid-on-i-a and she’s a poor widow,” Carla announced, displaying her beige dress artistically patched in brown.

Tegan laughed. “That’s not how you’re supposed to pronounce it. It’s Sidonia. Richenda is a duchess.”

“And mine’s called Thirzah and she’s in disguise as a commoner, but I don’t know who she really is,” Libby added. “I’m starting in the market square. Is anyone else in the same place?”

Honey shook her head. “I’m in the forest clearing.”

“I am, too,” Di added.

Trixie scowled. “I’m in the kitchen.”

“Well, I’m in the market square and so is Carla,” Tegan replied, having examined her friend’s card as well as her own. “Are you ready? We could go now.”

The three checked the floor plan and set off, with Tegan saying, “See you sometime later, I guess.”

Once the door closed behind them, Trixie slumped into a chair. “This is just great. Everyone else has an actual character and I’m just a maid. I’ll probably spend the whole night doing the dishes or something. Or dusting. My costume comes with a duster!”

“I’m sure you’ll have more–” Honey began to say, only to be interrupted by a violent banging on the door.

“Girls! Are you in there still?” Gareth demanded, from outside.

Diana opened the door to him and he almost tumbled inside. “It’s terrible! My Perdita hasn’t shown and she has one of the most important parts. Quick: take off that maid costume and put on Perdita’s. Here’s her card. Quickly, please. It’s almost time to start. Oh, and did I mention the lockers? Just put your things in one and take the key. They’ll be safe there for the evening. We don’t want people taking phone calls while they’re being fairy tale characters, do we?”

Trixie snatched the card from him and grabbed the last costume bag. Honey urged Gareth back outside while Di undid the apron and dropped it on the floor, then pulled the shift over Trixie’s head almost before the door shut. In a minute or two, they had her dressed in a rather ugly dress of stiff cream and rust-brown fabric, shot through with occasional threads of gold and obviously intended for someone several inches taller. They settled a copper-coloured tiara among her curls and put a matching sceptre into her hand.

“Where do you have to go?” Di asked, picking up the rest of their belongings and stuffing them into a locker.

“Uh, the castle tower,” Trixie answered.

“Here!” Honey cried, poking the spot on the floor plan. “Oh, Trixie, you’re going to have to run. It’s up another two flights of stairs from here and we only have about four minutes.”

“Pinch and lift!” Di reminded her, as Trixie tried to run with the fabric of the skirt still sweeping the floor.

“What?”

Di demonstrated with her own skirt. “You’ll trip, otherwise.”

Trixie grabbed two handfuls of skirt and, holding it up almost to her knees, ran off. She found her way back to the stairs without trouble and reached the top of the second flight, looking around wildly for her destination. Three walls of the almost-empty room were made up of large windows. On the window-seat opposite the stairhead lay a card, like the others. Puffing only slightly, she crossed to it and picked it up.

Before she had a chance to read it, a clock began to strike seven. The sound seemed to come from all around and it made her jump. The echoes of the last stroke faded away.

“Good evening, everyone,” Gareth’s disembodied voice boomed. “Our performance is about to begin. Please await your cues before you start your scene.”

“Cues?” Trixie asked, aloud. “What cues?”

She looked at the two cards. The first read, ‘Perdita. The evil queen. Scene One: The Castle Tower.’ The second was headed, ‘Cue: Evil laughter.’ At almost the same moment, the room filled with a cackle worthy of a wicked witch.

Trixie gasped and hurriedly read the next instructions. She looked wildly around the room and found what she needed. Moments later, she stood before an oval mirror in an ornate frame.

“Uh, show me!” she commanded, but without conviction.

“Perdita! Please! A little animation is required here. Start again.”

The laughter repeated. Trixie scowled at the ceiling, drew herself up to her full height, waved the sceptre in a threatening manner and thundered, “Show me! Mirror on the wall, show me the secrets which hide in my realm!”

Her eyes widened as her reflection disappeared, to be replaced by another image. From the hidden speakers came the sound of rushing water.

Beside her, the door opened and Dan entered.

“Your majesty,” he greeted, bowing.

As Dan retreated to the other side of the room, Trixie’s attention returned to the mirror. She could see Diana, wandering happily around a room filled with potted plants, smelling a flower here and examining a butterfly there. Honey sat quietly in a corner, reading a book.

From somewhere out of sight, Brian stumbled onto the scene. Across his eyes, he wore a black mask that leant him a sinister appearance. At once, Honey jumped to her feet and Diana ran to her. They stood close together, eyeing him warily.

“Do not be afraid. I mean you no harm, but only ask of you some assistance.” Brian’s voice came to them clearly. “Pray, help me remove this thorn from my hand and I will be in your debt.”

Honey hung back, but Di took a tentative step forward and held out her hand. Brian placed his hand in hers and she pulled the thorn from it. She took her handkerchief and bound up the wound.

The scene disappeared and the regular reflection returned. A bird of prey screeched.

Trixie glanced at her card and saw that was her next cue.

“Show me!” she commanded, once more.

The mirror showed her a different room, where Mart and Jim sat together at a table. The bird call repeated.

“Have you no news of my brother?” Mart asked.

Jim shook his head. “None. And I have asked everyone I can think of.”

“I fear some great evil has befallen him.” Mart looked straight at the mirror. “And I strongly suspect from which quarter it comes.”

Jim let out a rather artificial sigh. “Until my kingdom can make an alliance with this one, I have no power here.”

Mart nodded. “That is what I thought. But I shall not give up.”

“Neither shall I,” Jim replied.

A gong sounded and Trixie’s reflection returned once more. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the strange selection of cues, instead focussing on the fact that they at least made it easy to keep track of where they were up to, she read through the next part of her card and turned to Dan.

“Everard, I have a job for you.”

“Yes, your majesty?”

“You will go to the forest clearing. You will find Isolda and you will kill her.”

“Kill her?”

“That’s what I said! Now, go!”

He bowed and left the room.

“As for me,” Trixie informed the empty room, “I must find Caradoc. He and I have business to attend to.”

She crossed to the other side of the room, where a black, hooded cloak lay on a bench and put it on. The unseen clock struck eight.

A silence descended, broken a minute later by Gareth’s voice.

“Thank you, everyone. Please proceed to the refreshment areas for a short break before Scene Two.”

Trixie threw open the door and almost collided with Dan.

“Hey, do you know where we’re supposed to go now?” she asked him.

“Didn’t you look at the floor plan?” he asked, leading the way back down the stairs.

“Didn’t have time.” She waved a hand to her costume. “This was a last-minute thing. I was supposed to be a maid, but got promoted to evil queen.”

“Suits you down to the ground,” he quipped, ducking out of the way of the slap she aimed at his arm.

“I’ll have you executed next, if you don’t watch out.”

“Trixie! And you said you couldn’t act!” Di cried, as they turned the corner of the staircase and caught sight of their friends gathered in the square room they had passed through earlier. “You were really getting into that.”

“You could see me?”

Di nodded. “Only when you were the focus, but yes. We had a screen that showed what was going on in the story.”

Jim handed each of them a pottery cup filled with soda from one of the bottles on the small table which now stood in the middle of the room and Trixie took a sip of hers. The bottles and the purchased snacks in the earthenware bowls beside them stood out against the more old-fashioned items everywhere else in the house.

“What fairy tale is this, do you think?” Honey asked. “I thought, at first, with Trixie’s magic mirror that it must be Snow White, but it isn’t quite right. I mean, who is my character if it is?”

“Well, the thing I’m wondering,” Di added, without addressing Honey’s question, “is where those other three girls went. I only saw Bob-Whites during that scene and they’re not here now, either, and neither is Gareth.”

“There were some other men in the changing room, too.” Brian glanced uneasily around, fiddling with the mask in his hand. “I haven’t seen them, either.”

“There was another refreshment table downstairs,” Dan pointed out. “And they all started down there, I think.”

“I wonder where we go next?” Trixie spied a table off to one side with cards laid out on it and went to investigate. “Should I bring all of ours back with me?”

“Please,” Di answered. “I really want to know what happens next.”

“Looks like you’ll have to wait and see,” Jim commented, when Trixie handed him his. “All mine says is my next starting point.”

“Places in three minutes!” Gareth’s voice warned, seemingly from overhead.

“Where’s the floor plan?” Trixie asked, frowning at her card and then gulping down the last of her drink. “I’ve got to find the market square.”

“That’s downstairs somewhere, I think,” Di answered.

Those who were going somewhere they hadn’t been before gathered around the nearest copy of the diagram and in moments they were all off in different directions. Trixie struggled with the long skirt of her dress as she descended yet another flight of stairs. A sign directed her to the market square and she arrived to find a small crowd gathered, including the three women she had met earlier.

“Oh! Were you in disguise as well?” Libby asked, as soon as they caught sight of each other.

Trixie shook her head. “Someone else didn’t show and I got promoted.”

From hidden speakers came nine strikes of the clock, followed by the sound of rushing wind. Trixie hastily checked her card and found that it was her own cue. She began to search the crowd, asking after Caradoc, but all she approached either replied in the negative or turned away from her.

A bird of prey screeched. The scene in the market square stopped and all of them turned to the screen, where Dan entered the forest clearing.

“Who are you?” Honey, in the character of Flavia, asked in surprise. “Why are you here?”

“Are you Isolda?”

She shook her head. “I am not. Who are you?”

“Where is Isolda?” he asked, ignoring her question.

“I’m not telling you, especially since you won’t tell me who you are.”

He nodded once. “My name is Everard. I come from the queen.”

Honey’s eyes widened and she gasped.

“Where is Isolda?” he repeated.

“I am here,” Di replied, stepping into the area they could see. “What do you want?”

“The queen has sent me to kill you,” he answered, “but I know she’s not watching right now. Come with me and I’ll hide you where she can’t find you.”

Di’s eyes narrowed. “How can I know that I can trust you?”

He shrugged. “You can’t. But if you stay within her realm, she will know that I have betrayed her and she’ll kill both of us. Your choice.”

The two young women shared a long look, then Di nodded. She and Dan walked away.

“It is for the best,” Brian’s voice told Honey. A moment later he stood beside her, once more wearing the mask. “If the queen wishes your sister harm, there is nowhere in this kingdom to hide.”

“Will I see her again?” Honey asked.

A small smile played on Brian’s lips. “I hope so. The queen cannot live forever, after all.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “You will be safe here, I think, but you must be wary of the queen. I must leave you now, in case she comes here to check that the work has been done.”

“Oh, no! Not you, too,” Honey answered. “Not now that I am alone!”

Brian shook his head. “It must be so. Be on your guard.”

A dog howled, long and mournfully. Trixie checked her card and groaned.

“The outer chamber? Where’s that?”

She checked the nearest floor chart and hurried off. She arrived to find a small group of people, most of whom she did not recognise. The dog howled again and she began her scene.

“Where is Caradoc?” she demanded of each other person in turn. “Where is he hiding?”

No one answered her. The room filled with the sound of rushing wind, signalling the end of the scene, and she turned to the screen on the far wall.

“Marmaduke! Wherefore art thou, Marmaduke!” Dan called, a smirk twisting the corners of his mouth. “A fair maiden needs your help.”

“Shut it, Mangan,” Mart replied, from out of frame.

From overhead, Gareth’s voice interrupted. “Everard! Marmaduke! Stop that at once. Begin your scene again, please.”

Dan sniggered a little longer, then the amusement faded away and he became deadly serious. A shiver ran down Trixie’s spine. The cue played again.

“Marmaduke!”

Mart stepped into view, still looking irritated. “What do you want?”

“The queen has ordered me to kill someone, but I’m not gonna do it.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Mart answered.

“I’d like your help.”

“To defy the queen?” Mart laughed bitterly. “No. Nothing would make that worthwhile. I do not wish to die.”

“He will not help me?” Di’s voice asked, from off-screen.

Dan shook his head as Di stepped into view. “Nope. We’ll have to find someone else to take you out of the kingdom.”

Mart took a step closer, an interested expression on his face. “Wait. You did not say it was one so fair as this.”

Dan shrugged. “You didn’t ask.”

“And you didn’t say I just needed to take her away.”

Again, Dan shrugged. “You didn’t ask that either.”

“Perhaps I can hear news of my brother,” Mart mused. “Yes, indubitably this is a good plan. I will take her out of the queen’s reach and I will enquire of my brother whilst I am away. No need to thank me; it is no trouble at all.”

Dan shook his head, laughing under his breath, and left.

The evil laughter from the very first scene replayed and Trixie once more consulted her card.

“Oh, no! Not the castle tower again!”

She grabbed at the too-long skirt once more and set out to climb the three flights of stairs. The cue repeated almost as soon as she arrived. A quick glance at the card told her all she needed to know.

“Show me!” she commanded, once she stood in front of the mirror, the black cloak thrown off behind her on the floor. She vaguely recalled that she probably should have waved her sceptre, but couldn’t remember the last time she’d had it, let alone what she might have done with it.

Just as it had before, her reflection disappeared and she saw another scene. Honey sat reading her book once again. She gave a start and dropped it, jumping to her feet as Jim entered the field of view.

“Oh! It is only you, Caradoc. You startled me.”

“I am sorry, Flavia.” He looked around himself. “Where is your sister? I must see her.”

Honey shook her head. “She is not here. The queen sent someone to kill her, but she had fled the kingdom. I do not know where she has gone.”

“Then I must seek her,” he answered.

The sound of wind rushed through the room and Trixie looked back at her card.

“Caradoc,” she muttered. “I must seek Caradoc. He will lead me to Isolda and then they will both die!”

She picked up the cloak and put it back on.

The clock struck ten.

“Refreshments, everyone!” Gareth’s voice invited. “You’re all doing so well. Let’s take a quick break and then get back to it.”

Trixie arrived at the refreshment table in time to hear Di complain to Honey, “Way to give me away!”

“Well, I didn’t know the evil queen was listening,” Honey answered. “In fact, I still don’t know, only I actually do know, because I saw Trixie telling the mirror to show her right before I started talking, but I – Perdita, I, I mean, not Honey, I – don’t know, though I guess she will know when the queen turns up, which is what I expect will happen next.”

Trixie stopped by the other table and grabbed both her own and Honey’s next cards.

“Looks like it,” she told her friend. “We’re both starting in the forest clearing.”

“Oh, good,” Honey answered. “I haven’t seen you one single time so far, except on a screen.”

She smiled and then turned to Jim. “You’re Caradoc? I thought Brian was Caradoc?”

Jim shook his head. “No, he’s Alaric.”

“I’m having so much trouble keeping all the names straight.”

“Mart is Marmaduke,” Dan added, as he, Brian and Mart joined the gathering.

“Mangan,” Mart warned, scowling.

“What did I say?”

“Oh! Di, can I have the locker key, please? I’ll better just go and check my phone,” Honey burst in on the imminent argument. “They were going to text me back about whether they can open early in the morning for us.”

“That would be great if they could,” Trixie noted, as Honey hurried away. “There’s a hike I really wanted to do and we’d need to get started early if we were going to.”

The conversation turned to all of the things they wanted to do that weekend. Only a few moments later, however, Honey returned.

“That big door to the corridor is locked and there doesn’t seem to be any other way around,” she told the others. “I can’t get in.”

“Let me take a look,” Brian offered, setting off in that direction, his mask pushed up on the top of his head.

“Gareth!” Trixie called. “Can you hear me?”

They all waited silently for a moment, but he did not reply.

“Maybe there’s no microphones here. I’ll try in the forest clearing,” Honey suggested. She jogged down the other corridor and opened the first door. “Gareth! Can you hear me, Gareth?”

Again, silence.

“Maybe he’s away from wherever it is that he talks to us from,” Di suggested, before taking a long sip of her drink. “Ugh! I wish I could take a drink with me, but I don’t think it matches the aesthetic, somehow.”

“Places, please, everyone!” Gareth’s voice urged. “Next scene in three minutes!”

Honey, still inside the adjoining room called, “Gareth! I need to quickly check my phone. Can you unlock the door?”

“Your scene, please, Flavia,” he answered, at once. “Technology can wait. Your next part is crucial and I will not risk you missing it.”

Trixie rolled her eyes and picked up her next card. “Looks like we’re up first,” she commented. “And I have to start by hiding behind this bush.”

By the time she had wriggled into the small space and arranged the inconveniently-large dress according to some strangely specific instructions, the clock began to strike eleven. Across the room, she could see Honey sitting quietly with her book yet again. Birds began to sing, the door opened and a young woman in a pale blue dress entered. After a couple of moments’ hurried thought, Trixie remembered that her real name was Tegan but couldn’t for the life of her recall her character name.

Honey stood up and smiled. “Greetings, Richenda. What brings you here?”

The other girl smiled. “Rumour has it that you have had an interesting visitor. I wondered if I might find him still here.”

“Oh! No, no. There is no one here. No one at all,” Honey answered, while looking over each of her shoulders in turn. “In fact, I don’t even know who you might be speaking of.”

Tegan frowned. “You mean, Caradoc has not been here?”

“Caradoc!” Honey visibly relaxed. “Oh, yes, he was here. But he’s gone… somewhere.”

A sound like a bear growling buzzed through the hidden speakers. Trixie arose with a jolt, nearly knocking over the potted plant behind which she had been hiding.

“Greetings, kind strangers,” she called to the other two. “I am a traveller from distant parts. No one that you’d know at all, really. I could not help but hear you mention Caradoc. Might you be able to tell me where he is?”

Honey shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know where he’s gone.”

Trixie tried to take a step forward, only to find that her skirt was caught on something. She leaned down and tugged, but could not get it free. Twisting, she wrenched at it, to no effect.

“Oh! May I help you?” Honey asked, rushing forwards. She knelt at Trixie’s side and tried to unsnag the fabric. “It is caught tight in this root. I cannot see how we can get it free without damage.”

She worked for some time. From the speakers came the sound of rending cloth. Honey scrambled to lift a piece of tape on the inside of the skirt and pulled on the thread it held down. A moment later, a triangular piece dropped from the side of the skirt, exposing Trixie’s leg to the knee. She hurriedly checked her card for the next line.

“Look what you’ve done!” she thundered. “Clumsy fool! My dress!”

“I’m very sorry, but it is only a torn seam,” Honey answered. “Let me get needle and thread and I will fix it for you so that it will not show.”

“No! I will not let you touch me again!”

“I’m sorry. I was only trying to help.”

“Help? It’s ruined!” She grabbed at the remaining skirt and rushed out the door.

Just outside, she looked around for a floor plan. She next needed to find the inn. Her finger traced along a corridor on the same floor and she set off.

Overhead, she heard the scene continuing without her.

“She has left behind a part of her dress,” Tegan noted. “This seems very expensive fabric. I wonder who she was?”

“Fine clothes do not always belong to the rich,” Honey answered. “I will put it away safely, in case she returns.”

A sword rang as it was unsheathed, just as she reached the door she sought. She picked up a new card from just outside and, following its instructions, edged the door open to peek inside.

“What have you done with her?” Jim demanded of Mart, inside the room.

“I? I have only kept her safe,” Mart answered.

Jim scowled. “Then where is she? Where is Isolda?”

“She is safe,” Mart repeated. “You do not need to know where.”

“You wish to keep her from me?”

Mart laughed. “You seek her hand?”

Jim drew his sword. “Yes. And you will not stand in my way.”

Mart’s laughter faded away and he drew his sword also. They began, rather clumsily, to fight. While they were focussed on each other, Trixie entered the room fully. The fight intensified and Jim’s sword glanced across Mart’s face. Mart threw up his left hand to cover the place, leaving the sword dangling in his right.

“You will not have her!” Jim declared.

Without hesitating, Mart thrust his sword into Jim’s side, actually passing it between Jim’s body and his arm. Holding onto it, his own weapon falling from his hand, Jim dropped to the ground.

“What have you done?” Honey cried, from somewhere to Trixie’s left. “He is dead!”

She ran across the room to kneel by Jim, having entered by another door that Trixie had not yet noticed.

Mart looked around wildly and saw not only Honey, but also Trixie. He picked up Jim’s fallen sword and pointed it in Trixie’s direction.

“What have we here? A spy?” With the tip of the sword, he flicked down the hood of her cape. “Would you join Caradoc in death, lady?”

“Put that down!” Honey cried. “You have done enough harm for one day.”

“You!” Trixie frowned at Honey, in spite of the sword tip which Mart now rested over her heart. “Not you, again! I do not need your help.”

“And I do not need your interference,” Mart added, addressing Trixie.

He tensed his muscles to thrust the blade home, but Honey jumped up and grabbed his arm.

“No. Please. Let her go,” Honey urged. “She means no harm and it will do no good to kill her.”

Mart looked sceptical, but lowered the sword. “I am not so sure, but for you, Flavia, I will let her go.”

Honey smiled. “Thank you, Marmaduke. I am sure that you have done the right thing.”

“I am not so sure,” he answered. He turned to Trixie. “Flavia has saved your life. Aren’t you going to thank her?”

Trixie drew herself up to her full height and attempted to look down her nose at two people who were both taller than she was.

“No, I am not.”

Overhead, a bear growled. A moment later, Gareth’s irritated voice rang through the room.

“Alaric! Everard! Why are you not in your place?”

The door through which Trixie had entered opened to admit both Brian and Dan.

“That is not the right room!” Gareth wailed. “Go at once to the forest clearing! You, too, Isolda! I see you sneaking into the inn!”

“We’re not going anywhere until you explain why we’re locked inside the house,” Brian answered him, a grim look on his face.

“Security,” Gareth answered. “It’s all to do with the reality show. State of the art security. Now, places, please! We have some very important scenes to do.”

Mart growled. “We might decide to stop here. Then what?”

“Not happening,” Gareth answered. “The fairy tale must be finished.”

“And what if the house catches on fire?” Brian asked.

They heard Gareth laugh, with just a note of hysteria behind it. “We’ll all burn together. I’m not letting anyone out until we’re finished. We’re so close, now. Please take your places for the next scene.”

“Obsessed much?” Mart grumbled, taking his sword from Jim and sliding it back into its scabbard. “Why did we agree to this again?”

Di rolled her eyes. “He’s your friend.”

Mart stilled in mid-step and stared at her for a long moment. “I thought he was your friend.”

She shook her head. The colour had drained from her face. “He was with your group of friends.”

“With. But not part of.” Mart’s brow creased. “Let’s get out of here. I’m through with this.”

“Can’t,” Dan answered. “Brian and I’ve been all over the house and we can’t find anywhere to get out. Not a door or a window or a fire escape anywhere that we can open.”

“And there won’t be anywhere you can open until you finish the fairy tale,” Gareth added, from above. “I can hear you, you know.”

“We know,” Di replied, melodically.

“So, what are we going to do?” Trixie asked the group. “Do we finish it, or do we try to break out somehow?”

Honey frowned. “I’m perfectly willing to pay for any damage we cause, but I’m not leaving without my phone.”

Trixie shrugged. “I don’t really feel like we’re in danger. I mean, it’s weird locking us in like this, but not scary weird.”

“You think?” Dan answered.

Again, she shrugged. “Well, I don’t feel scared.”

“You have been known to be wrong about when to be scared,” Jim pointed out with a smile. “But, somehow, I don’t feel like Gareth is going to hurt us, either.”

“Maybe it’s easier to just finish the fairy tale,” Di suggested. She glanced around the group. “If everyone’s willing?”

They shared glances for a few moments, then several people nodded.

“Okay. We’ll keep going,” Brian decided. He raised his voice to add, “But if anything else strange turns up, we’re calling it quits, okay?”

“Nothing strange is happening,” Gareth assured them. “Now, will Alaric please proceed to the forest clearing and Everard to just outside of it. Flavia, please leave the inn. Caradoc, please put on your shroud. I will replay the cue.”

The cue played and Trixie turned to the screen to see what was happening.

“You!” Dan cried. He raised a dagger, ready to plunge it into Brian’s heart.

“Wait!”

Dan held the dagger aloft, a dangerous expression on his face.

“Please,” Brian urged. “All is not as it seems.”

“You’ve got that right,” Dan answered.

The ad lib surprised a laugh out of Brian, but he regained his composure in only a moment. “I am not your enemy, despite appearances. Spare me and all will be revealed in time.”

Dan nodded and walked away. A horse neighed.

The two doors to the forest clearing room opened, admitting Honey and Di. They hurried to each other and embraced.

“You have returned!” Honey cried.

“I am certain that the danger is over,” Di answered.

Brian approached the two and shook his head. “You should not be here. The queen–”

Di waved a hand to cut him off. “The queen will not hurt me. It is a misunderstanding; I am sure of it.”

Brian shook his head. “She means for you to die. But you have helped me and I will return the favour. It is time for me to do that.”

He bowed to them and walked to one of the doors. The evil laughter echoed once more and he passed into the room where Trixie waited. She checked her card for what to do next, noticing vaguely that Mart had disappeared through the other door. Jim stood still across the room from her, covered in a large piece of filmy white fabric and looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“Your reign of tyranny has come to an end,” Brian intoned, scowling deeply at his sister. “Prepare to die!”

The door that led to the forest clearing opened and both Honey and Di rushed through.

“No! Spare her!” Honey cried.

“Please!” Di added. “Caradoc is not yet cold in his grave and you would slay another?”

“You do not understand,” Brian answered. “She must die.”

“Stay out of this,” Trixie told Honey and Di. “It’s no concern of yours.”

A slight smile curved Brian’s lips. “They would spare you and yet you will not take their help?”

“I will not,” she replied. “In fact, you can kill them first. Start with Isolda. Go on, then. Do it. I dare you.”

He looked down at her. “You are utterly selfish and ungrateful. There is no more mercy for you.”

He raised his knife and plunged it down, pushing the blade between her chest and her arm. She staggered and fell, losing her tiara as she did so. The mask fell from Brian’s face. Jim stepped forward and dropped another sheet of the filmy fabric over Trixie, then helped her to her feet. He picked up a length of heavy chain from the ground and draped it around her. A trumpet fanfare began.

Across the room, Mart entered the room and cried out in surprise.

“My brother! You are found!”

“Yes,” Brian answered. “The evil queen had cursed me, but now that she is dead, I am free.”

He turned to take Honey’s hand and she smiled up at him. Mart grabbed Diana’s hand and gazed down at her happily.

“And so all is well,” Mart pronounced.

The door from the forest clearing opened again, admitting Dan. He looked around at the scene and nodded approval.

“All is well,” he repeated.

He stooped and picked up Trixie’s tiara, sitting it on Honey’s head. Looking at the sword in his hand, he shrugged and gave it to Honey, whose eyes lit up with mischief.

“Kneel,” she told him. “You, too, Mart.” She tapped it on their shoulders and heads. “Arise, Sir Everard. Arise, Sir Marmaduke. Everyone is invited to the royal double wedding, to be held in the castle tower. And we all lived happily ever after, except for the ghosts, who haunted happily ever after. The End.”

From the speakers, the clock struck twelve.

“That was not how it was supposed to go,” Gareth’s voice chided, after the last stroke faded. “I should make you do it all again so that Everard can do his part properly.”

Dan shook his head. “Nope.”

“Why? What were you supposed to do?” Di wondered.

He held out the card to her and she cried out in horror. “Kill everyone? Including yourself? But we had a perfectly good ending as it was. What would be the point of killing us all?”

“It’s the least I could do to you all, after what you did to Sonia,” Gareth told them.

The seven exchanged looks.

“Who on earth is Sonia?” Trixie demanded, dropping her chains on the floor with a clatter that almost drowned out her words and then struggling to disentangle herself from the shroud. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a Sonia! And I definitely haven’t done anything to hurt one.”

“You put her in jail and you don’t even know her name,” he grumbled. A strange clicking sound echoed through the room. “Well, as it happens, you’re not leaving until you figure out who you’ve hurt and why I want to do this.”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “All that business about not wanting me… giving me a bad role and then handing me one for someone who didn’t show up – that was all an act, wasn’t it? You meant me to play this role all along.”

“Well, of course I did.” He sounded exasperated. “The combined role of wicked queen and wicked dwarf. Perfect for you. But that’s completely beside the point. You need to answer my questions, or you’re not leaving.”

Dan, meanwhile, had wandered over to one of the doors, only to find it locked. Mart had tried the other and found the same.

“How many guesses do we get?” Di wondered.

“As many as it takes,” Gareth answered, his voice grim. “You’re not getting out of this house until you understand what you’ve done.”

“Can we have some clues?” Trixie asked.

He laughed. “No.”

She shrugged. “It was worth a try.”

Jim frowned, thinking. “Hold on a minute. We weren’t going to be here for more than half an hour, if we followed our original plan. How did you even think we would be here to do this?”

Before Gareth could answer, Trixie laughed. “Sabotage, of course. Otherwise how did you get punctures in two tyres?”

“Or maybe I’m just an opportunist,” Gareth added. “You’ll never prove otherwise. Though I do admit that I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time. Let’s just say it was a happy accident. And stop changing the subject.”

The seven formed a huddle, but not until after Trixie had pulled a face at the ceiling.

“Opportunist, my ass!” she muttered. “He must have been following you.”

Brian nodded. “We stopped for a snack about ten minutes before we noticed the problem. There were six or seven other vehicles in the lot at the same time as us. It would have been easy enough. It wasn’t especially well-lit.”

“But how did he know you were coming?” Di asked, a frown creasing her brow.

Trixie shrugged. “We haven’t exactly kept it a secret. Lots of people knew… and he said himself that he’d been watching us for a long time. But that doesn’t get us out of here. We need to focus on Sonia, whoever she is.”

“He may not have agreed to give us a clue,” Honey whispered, “but he already did give us a big clue when he said that we put her in jail, but without knowing her name, which means that I suppose we just need to go through all of the women we’ve helped put in jail somehow, to find the one whose name we don’t know.”

Trixie nodded. “That’s right. And there weren’t that many female villains that we’ve come up against, so it shouldn’t take long at all. Because, of course, there was Laura Ramsay and Elena Aguilera and Margo Birch and Thea Van Loon, but we know their names.”

“Well, what about Paul Gale’s assistant? You remember him? He pretended to run the World Anti-Hunger Foundation while he was actually running a smuggling ring,” Honey suggested. “His assistant was blonde and young. She might be related to Gareth somehow.”

Trixie shook her head. “But she didn’t go to jail.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Honey’s eyes widened. “I know.”

“Who?” Trixie’s eyes followed Honey’s gaze to Jim’s face, which had taken on an angry expression. “Oh! Of course! Jonesy’s niece. So, does that make Gareth Jonesy’s nephew? Are they brother and sister?”

Jim shrugged. “You’ll have to ask Gareth.”

Trixie pulled out of the circle at once. “Gareth! Is Sonia your sister?”

“That’s not what I’m asking you to figure out,” he snapped.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Well, is she Jim’s step-father’s niece?”

“Oh, at last, you make one little connection to the terrible things you’ve done,” he answered. “Yes, Sonia is Dunstan Jones’ niece.” His voice lowered, almost to a growl. “But why did I want you to do this?”

“You enjoy costume parties, but don’t want to dress up yourself?” she guessed wildly, not expecting an answer. “Any ideas, anyone? Why would he want us to do this?”

“Because he’s sick?” Dan put in.

“Is it something to do with what Jonesy’s niece did?” Di wondered.

“She pretended to be someone she wasn’t, in order to steal something that wasn’t hers,” Brian summarised.

Jim nodded. “But, like Jonesy, she couldn’t completely keep the part for very long. Her true personality showed through.”

Trixie groaned. “My true personality has been showing through all evening.” Then she grinned. “So has Dan’s.”

“Unfortunately,” Mart added.

Dan smirked. “So did yours, Marmaduke.”

“Keep to the point!” Honey requested, before violence could break out. “I want my phone and I don’t think I’m going to get it until we solve this.”

Trixie straightened up. “Gareth! Did you want to see us playing parts, to see how well we did it?”

“Hmm…” For a moment he did not answer. “That’s part of it. A big part of it. But what am I going to do now?”

She shrugged. “Post it on the internet?”

“Bingo!” he cried, joyously. “Yes, my dear friends. Your performance this evening is going to be released for the whole world to see. It will be the delicious combination of my expert melding of two fairy tales and your horribly stilted acting. I will admit that I was a little disappointed to not see every one of you die on screen, but I have the satisfaction of knowing that each of you will die a little inside every time someone laughs at your pathetic performances here this evening.”

A buzzer sounded, seemingly from all around them, and loud clicks could be heard from multiple directions.

“The doors are now unlocked and you may go. Please hang up the costumes carefully before you leave and do take care not to leave behind any of your belongings. Good night and sweet dreams. May they be your last.”

Trixie grabbed a couple of handfuls of skirt. “I’m going to get out of this thing. Meet you near the front door in about five minutes?”

She barely waited until Brian had nodded before racing off to get changed, her friends following along behind.

“What just happened?” Tegan asked her, as soon as Trixie entered the room. “Those last few scenes it was like Gareth wasn’t even watching. And then we couldn’t get back in here and we couldn’t find anyone to ask.”

For a moment, Trixie hesitated. “I think he might have had two fairy tales going at the same time,” she decided to say at last. “Someone missed their cue in one part of ours and we got out of time with you, I think. We’ve only just finished.”

Libby rolled her eyes. “We’ve been finished for twenty minutes and I’ve been dying to get out of this thing.”

Trixie smiled and struggled out of her costume. “I know. I don’t want to wear another dress for a month.”

She threw on the clothes she had arrived in, which Diana handed her, and was saying her goodbyes before Honey had finished checking her text messages.

“It was nice meeting you,” she told the others in the room. “I’m sorry we didn’t end up having more scenes together.”

Moments later, she raced down the stairs, skidding to a halt next to Jim as he waited near the front door.

“Did Honey get the text?” he asked.

She started. “Oh. I didn’t wait to find out. But she was smiling, so I guess so.”

He shook his head at her impatience. “In that much of a hurry?”

She smiled. “You know me.”

A thoughtful look crossed his face. “What do you suppose Gareth meant about melding together two fairy tales? I couldn’t see much resemblance to any that I knew.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, either. I don’t think any of us picked them. And I’m not going to give Gareth any more attention by asking him.”

“How long are those girls going to take?” Mart grumbled, as he sauntered up to them. “We might be here all night, at this rate.”

Right behind him, Dan snorted. “Easy, Marmaduke. You only just got here yourself.”

“Call me that again, Mangan, and I’ll deck you.”

“I’d like to see you try!”

“I’d like to see that, too,” Trixie added, giggling.

“Hey! You aren’t starting the party without us, are you?” Di called, from half-way up the stairs, in the midst of a crowd of other people which included both Honey and Brian.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jim answered, then turned to open the front door.

They streamed out into the night and got into their cars, calling last-minute goodbyes to others they had met. The gates stood open and soon the two cars were back on the road.

“Phew! I wasn’t sure we were getting out of there until we actually were out,” Trixie commented, sinking back into her seat in the back of Honey’s car. “But it was all kind of fun, really.”

Jim, who sat beside her, glanced across. “You’re not upset about it being put on the internet for the whole world to see?”

Trixie shook her head. “It’s the lamest revenge ever. Who, exactly, is going to be interested enough to actually watch it? It wasn’t bad enough to be really funny and it wasn’t good enough to be watched by anyone who doesn’t know us personally. He acted like it was going to go viral, but I bet it hardly gets any views.”

“Well, I’m going to watch it,” front seat passenger Dan told them. “If I can find it.”

“But you’re not looking for it until after this weekend is over,” Honey put in. “We have an early start to make in the morning and a weekend of Bob-White togetherness to have, with all the regular things that that means.”

“Do you think tonight counts as our mystery?” Trixie wondered. “Or will I get another, proper, one when we get there?”

“Pull over, Honey,” Dan ordered, as Jim groaned at the thought. “Jim and I are getting out.”

Honey laughed. “Not a chance! We’re all in this together, no matter what.”

Jim smiled. “And that’s the way we like it.”

The End


Author’s notes: This story is posted to celebrate my sixteenth Jixaversary. I still have trouble believing that it has been sixteen years. But I am glad to be at Jix and glad to have had this experience in my life. Thank you to all those, past and present, who have made Jix the wonderful place that it is.

Thank you, also, to Mary N./Dianafan for editing this story and for encouraging me. I very much appreciate your help, Mary!

Now, some of you may be wondering exactly what these fairy tales were. My idea was to have one well-known fairy tale and one more obscure one and meld them together. Unfortunately, after Gareth had his corrupting influence on them, not even I could recognise them. The well-known tale was, of course, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. When I was a child, I had several fairy tale books and one had a lesser-known tale in it called Snow White and Rose Red. I found this just a touch confusing, but Wikipedia tells me that in the original German, the title characters do not have the exact same name, but only in the English translation. The stories are, apparently, unrelated to each other. For those who haven’t come across it before, Snow White and Rose Red is a story where two sisters encounter a bear and nurse him back to health. They then encounter a dwarf on three occasions and save his life or help him in some way, but he is utterly ungrateful and critical of their efforts. At the end of the story, the bear kills the dwarf and turns back into a prince, then revealing that the dwarf had put a curse on him. Snow White and Rose Red marry the prince and his brother and live happily ever after, as per the usual ending of such stories.

For this retelling, Brian’s character is based on the bear from Snow White and Rose Red (SWRR), Trixie’s character combines the Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (SWSD) and the dwarf (SWRR), Diana’s combines Snow White (SWSD) and Rose Red (SWRR), Jim’s and Mart’s are based on the prince and his brother (SWRR), Dan’s is based on the huntsman (SWSD) and Honey’s is based on Snow White (SWRR).

Jonesy’s niece is featured in book 16, The Mystery of the Missing Heiress. Strangely, she is never given a name. Gareth is my own invention.

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